What Is Love?
by TentenNTemari
Summary: SandSib fic. A deeper look into Gaara's childhood with his sister, brother and uncle. They all tried their best to love Gaara.
1. Intro: I'll Try

**A/N: If you've read my "Kankuro Falls" stories, my "Seven Greatest Days of My Youth" story and the stories I write with my bestest friend Temari, then you know my specialty is silly stories. However, this story is far from funny. It's a lot more serious and emotional.**

**This is a story about the Sand Sibs. It's mostly about Temari's pain and her feelings toward Gaara since her mother died, but it also has a lot to do with Gaara's feelings, and Kankuro's as well.**

**Just a warning, most of this story is really very sad. But I promise that the ending will be happy.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.**

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_Chapter 1— Intro: I'll Try_

Yashamaru stood in his room, staring silently out the window. The morning sun could not be seen behind the black storm clouds, and the violent wind caused the sand to hide most of the view. This storm had been going on since the death of Yashamaru's sister, and it reminded him of her rage and suffering.

The fast, heavy rain hit the roof of the house continuously. _The heavens are crying for you, Karura_, Yashamaru thought as he looked to the dark skies of Suna that day.

His sister had died two days before at the village's hospital, shortly after the birth of her third and last child. With the last few breaths she had, she cursed the village for making her a human sacrifice, and hoped this child would avenge her death.

Yashamaru let out a long sigh. _Everything is going to change now, isn't it, Karura?_ He sat down on the chair behind him, still looking out the window. _I know you're going to miss your children, Temari and Kankuro. They miss you too, and so do I. Very, very much._

The wind grew stronger. Yashamaru stood up and slowly walked to the corner of the room, to where a small table was placed. A picture frame was on top of it, and a picture of a smiling woman was inside it. Yashamaru picked it up. "Everything is going to change," he repeated, this time to the picture of his sister, "Everything is going to be different now. Temari and Kankuro are unaware now, but will someday fear the day when their demon-possessed brother will walk. The Kazekage, your husband, has moved out of this house. His children, your children, are confused and wondering why he left them and why their mother is dead."

He heard footsteps, and turned his head to the doorway, where a small three year-old Temari stood. A smaller and younger Kankuro was behind her, holding her hand.

"What's wrong?" Yashamaru asked them, setting the picture frame down.

"Bruh-ter," Kankuro answered quietly.

"He not sleeping," Temari added.

"Brother still isn't sleeping, huh?" Yashamaru said, pretending he hadn't a clue why. "Let's go take a look at him." He followed his niece and nephew to Karura's room, where baby Gaara lye wide-awake in the middle of the bed. He looked at his family as they walked into the room.

"Why he not sleeping?" Temari asked, looking up at her uncle.

"I don't know," Yashamaru lied. He looked at Gaara with an expressionless face as Gaara looked back at him. _Karura_, Yashamaru thought, _there must be a part of you inside this baby. And for that reason, I will try to love him. I'll try._

"What Mommy call him?" Temari asked Yashamaru. She had only been told her new brother's name once and had forgotten.

"His name is Gaara," Yashamaru said.

"Gaara," Temari repeated. She and Kankuro took one last look at their new brother and then left the room.

Yashamaru took a step out of the room, but kept his eyes on the baby. "Gaara," he said, looking into the baby's eyes, "I'll try." Yashamaru then left to follow Kankuro and Temari.

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**A/N: Yeah I know, this chapter is super-short. But it's only the intro. The next chapter will be longer.**

**I think it's pretty good so far... Wow, I'm not used to writing something as serious as this. But I hope you enjoyed what I have so far!**

**Please review!**


	2. Out of the Picture

**A/N: I tried making this longer. Sorry if the update was a little long; I'm getting mountains of homework so high that if I climbed up and stuck a flag on top I could officially name them.**

**But I don't think doing that would earn me an A.**

**Oh, and guess what? It's my BIRTHDAY tomorrow! (October 16) I'll be sweet sixteen.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.**

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_Chapter 2— Out of the Picture_

A five year-old Gaara stood in the center of the kitchen, staring up at one of the walls. Pinned in the exact middle of the wall was a glass picture frame, and behind that was an image of five faces, and one empty space.

To the far left of the photo, Gaara's uncle stood smiling with his eyes closed. He held a smaller and younger Kankuro, who was without his face paint and wide-eyed, as if he was looking at something he'd never seen before. To the right of these two was a woman Gaara never met. He once asked his uncle, Yashamaru, who the woman was, and he had answered simply: "She is the reason you are alive on this Earth right now." When Gaara asked if he could see her, Yashamaru just shook his head and said he was going for a walk.

In the portrait, the woman's hands were on a small girl's shoulders. Gaara recognized this girl as a younger version of his sister, Temari, who looked slightly shy, like she didn't want her picture taken that day. Gaara wondered why Yashamaru didn't allow Temari and Kankuro to be near him most of the time.

The entire right side of the picture was missing, and the edge was crinkled.

Gaara heard slow-moving footsteps and turned his attention to the entrance of the kitchen. Yashamaru now stood there, yawning. When he opened his eyes he looked a bit surprised. "Oh. Hello, Gaara," he said. "You're up early, today."

"I don't sleep," Gaara replied softly.

There was a short pause. "Are you hungry?" Before Gaara could answer, Yashamaru was entering the kitchen and heading toward one of the cupboards. "Sit down, I'll make you some breakfast." Gaara silently obeyed, climbing up one of the chairs next to the table. Yashamaru placed a clean gray plate on the table in front of Gaara and then began cooking.

Gaara peered down, examining his reflection in the plate. He often questioned his appearance. If it were his choice, he wouldn't have chosen dark rings to circle his eyes. He saw himself in his light blue eyes, trapped within black circles since birth, never to be freed. But he didn't know why this was.

Whenever he was outside, people would swiftly walk past Gaara and avoid eye contact. He came to the conclusion that the dark rings scared the villagers away, and wondered if they were also the reason Temari and Kankuro were frequently kept away from him.

Gaara got on his knees and turned around in his chair. "Yashamaru?"

"Yes, Gaara?"

Gaara pointed at the wall where the portrait was hanging. "I'm not in the picture."

Yashamaru stopped what he was doing and looked to where Gaara was pointing. Gaara waited for a reply as his uncle slowly took a few steps toward the wall. He studied the picture for a moment, then said, "It was taken before you were born."

"Some of it is missing," Gaara added.

Yashamaru carefully took the portrait off the wall and examined it in his hands for a moment. "Yes," he said. His tone explained how he knew why this was.

"Why?" Gaara asked. "What's missing?"

His uncle didn't answer. He placed the portrait on the counter and went back to cooking breakfast. Gaara's mouth was prepared to repeat the question when he heard Kankuro's voice by the entrance of the kitchen. "Father."

Yashamaru whirled around. Gaara's head turned and he saw his older brother entering the kitchen with an expressionless face. "Kankuro—" Yashamaru started.

Kankuro shook his head and took a seat next to Gaara. "Never mind that," he said to his uncle rather snappishly. Gaara was only five, but even he could see the hurt in his brother's eyes.

Yashamaru came over and picked up Gaara by the armpits, then placed him in the chair furthest from Kankuro.

_That was close_, Yashamaru thought, wiping his forehead with the back of his hand.

Yashamaru didn't want Gaara angry. Even the littlest bit, he thought, could make Gaara an unstoppable killing machine with Shukaku inside of him. For the past five years all was well so far, but he didn't want to take any risks. This meant he wasn't going to let Gaara know, or Temari and Kankuro find out about Gaara's demon, at least until they were old enough to know about it. It also meant that he wasn't going to let Gaara know about what his father did to the family, or why his mother died the day he was born.

Yashamaru sighed with relief as Temari walked into the room. "Good morning, Temari."

"Morning," Temari yawned tiredly, rubbing her eyes.

"Sit down at the table," Yashamaru said, "I'm making toast."

Temari's eyes opened to see the same scene she saw every morning at breakfast: Kankuro sitting on one side of the table while Gaara sat on the other. Temari sat by Kankuro, knowing that if she sat by Gaara, Yashamaru would just pick her up anyway and place her on a chair across from him.

Usually Temari didn't notice it this early in the morning, but today Gaara's eyes made it clear as he stared at the reflection in his plate: he really was alone, and he could feel it.

Temari and Kankuro barely ever had as much as a conversation with Gaara; Yashamaru always kept Temari and Kankuro at a distance from him.

Temari looked at Kankuro, whose eyes were fixed on the tabletop, then to Yashamaru, who was making toast in silence. Finally she examined Gaara's facial expression as he stared down into his plate, and she knew what she had to do after breakfast.

She just had to be sneaky, and make sure that Yashamaru wasn't around.

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**A/N: What is Temari up to, you ask? You'll just have to find out in the next chapter!**

**Please review!**


	3. Love

**A/N: ****I AM SO SORRY for the _extremely_ long update. I think I'm going to try something new, and make a deadline for myself. Please don't be mad— This year I'm getting way more homework and tests to study for than last year. I've also made more commitments this year and I'm not on the computer as much as I used to be.**

**Thank you guys so much for your patience. I promise you guys I'm going to finish this story, I've planned ahead and wrote notes for future chapters. Hopefully this deadline plan will help me to get my butt on the computer and update faster.**

**Happy Valentines Day (in 7 days)!**

**Good news: This is the longest chapter so far!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.**

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_Chapter 3-- Love_

Temari was sitting in her room silently on her bed.

She grasped her golden locket tightly. Gazing out the window, she watched as the golden sun slowly slid down the sky like an egg yolk sliding down a frying pan. The sky was orange and pink, and still bright enough for her to see what was going on outside. Children were laughing and playing a distance away, but the area around Temari's house was empty, just as it always was.

_I've wasted too much time_, Temari thought, shifting her gaze to the brown teddy bear resting on her pillow. She stared into his eyes, which were tiny black buttons, and sighed. She picked him up and examined him. _I was supposed to do it right after breakfast ended_, Temari thought, _And it's already afternoon._ She looked out the window again._ Yashamaru hasn't left Gaara's side all day…_

Temari looked back at the teddy bear. "I hope he's not getting suspicious." She turned the bear on an angle and studied him for a few more moments. "Okay, Temari," she said, standing on her feet. "You have to do this. Be brave."

Taking a deep breath, she walked swiftly out of her room and down the hallway. She clutched the teddy bear to her chest protectively and peered into each room, searching for both Gaara and Yashamaru. _Kankuro is in his room… Nobody's in the bathroom… Nobody's in the kitchen…_

She suddenly stopped, almost tripping. She quickly hid in the kitchen behind the living room wall. Her grip on the bear tightened and she felt her heart hammering in her chest. _Yashamaru is in the living room… without Gaara. There's only one place left to search._

Temari quickly tiptoed out of the kitchen and down the hallway again. Gaara's door was at the end of the hallway. _I have to do this quick, before Yashamaru checks up on Gaara or me._ She crept up to Gaara's doorway and peeked inside.

Gaara was lying in the middle of the wooden floor on his back. His arms were raised above him, holding up the family portrait from the kitchen. His bed was made neatly and the lamp was turned on. Looking out his window, Temari realized the sun was nearly hidden behind the rooftops of the village. The sky was growing darker…

She heard a little sound and jumped. Gaara was now on his feet, holding the family portrait behind his back. He walked backward until he found the wall, and then avoided Temari's gaze. His face was afraid, and he was biting his lip.

Temari slowly took a step forward. Once her foot touched the ground, Gaara's eyes met with hers; they were wide with fear. As Temari tentatively approached him she felt as if she was moving toward a frightened kitten.

_For the first time_, Temari thought, _I'm alone with Gaara._

Temari stopped when she was about five feet away from him. Gaara stared up at her, frozen. Temari heard him gulp. They stood there for a few moments, just looking into each other's eyes, trying to figure out what the other was going to do next.

Finally Temari spoke. "Gaara." Gaara didn't respond, but he didn't change his gaze. Temari looked down at the brown teddy bear she held in her arms. "There's something I've been wanting to give you."

She extended her arms, holding the bear right in front of her little brother.

_It's very special…_ Temari thought.

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_**Four years and many months earlier**_

_**(A month after the death of Temari, Kankuro and Gaara's mother)**_

Three year-old Temari felt something gently shaking her shoulder. Slowly, she tried opening her eyelids. They were heavy, and her eyes were stinging. Everything around her blurred, then slowly became clear. She was lying on the couch. Kankuro was asleep on the floor. Yashamaru was standing over her and lightly shaking her shoulder. His mouth was smiling, but it didn't look like a happy one. His eyebrows were arched and his eyes were bloodshot.

"Temari," he whispered though his tiny smile, "It's morning."

She didn't move; she only stared at his face, trying to figure out what kind of emotion was behind it. His mouth was smiling, but his eyes were sad and tired.

"Uncle, are you sad?" Temari asked him, her eyebrows coming together.

Yashamaru's small smile faded, and he slowly let out a sigh. Finally he answered, "Yes I am, Temari."

"Oh," Temari said softly. She reached out her little hand. Yashamaru took it into his, and gently stroked her wrist with his thumb.

Slowly Temari began to remember what happened the night before... Temari came running into the living room with Yashamaru when she heard the cries of her two year-old brother, Kankuro. He was on the ground, sitting criss-cross and holding a small flowerpot. The flower in it was skinny, wilted and brown. The shriveled petals were all resting in the dirt, and the stem had drooped into the dirt and was beginning to blend with the soil.

"Mommy's— flower— d—died!" Kankuro managed to force out between big, tearful gasps. At the sight of her crying brother and her mother's dead flower, Temari began to cry too. She curled up on the sofa and Yashamaru sat next to Kankuro on the floor.

"Oh, no," Yashamaru said, taking out the flowerpot from Kankuro's hands. Kankuro continued to sob, and buried his head into Yashamaru's shirt. Yashamaru placed the flowerpot on the floor and took Kankuro in his arms. "Shh… Kankuro, it's okay." He reached out his other arm and put it around Temari, who was up on the couch. "It's okay, it's okay," he repeated.

"W-want—Mommy!" Kankuro choked tearfully into Yashamaru's shirt. Yashamaru stayed with them as they cried, stroking their backs and holding them with care until they finally fell asleep. Before Temari fell asleep she thought she had seen Yashamaru quivering, teardrops escaping from his eyes.

"Time to get up," Yashamaru was now saying tenderly to Kankuro on the floor. Kankuro's eyelids fluttered but didn't open. Yashamaru glanced at Kankuro for a few moments, and then let out another sigh. "There's something I need to give to the both of you," he said, looking at Temari too.

"Okay," Temari said. Kankuro remained silent.

Yashamaru picked up Kankuro and held him on his side with one arm. Temari stood up on her feet and wiped her eyes. "Come on," Yashamaru said gently, holding out his hand. Temari took it and Yashamaru led the two of them to his room. He let go of Temari's hand and sat Kankuro on the bed. Temari looked at the crib in Yashamaru's room and saw Baby Gaara lying on his back, staring at them all in silence.

Without hesitance, Yashamaru got on all fours and retrieved a large brown cardboard box from underneath his bed. He tore off the tape on the top, setting it aside on the ground. He then opened the top of the box, and looked inside. "Here they are," he said. Curiously, Temari walked to the box and sat beside her uncle. Kankuro peered into it from where he sat on the bed.

"They're gifts," Yashamaru said, "From your mother."

Yashamaru carefully pulled out a small violet blanket. "Kankuro, this is for you," he said, placing it on his lap. "Your mother made it for you; she said to use it for every time you need a hug from her." Kankuro wrapped it around himself instantly, closing his eyes.

Yashamaru reached into the box again and took out a golden locket. "Temari, this is for you," he said. Temari held out her hands and he placed the locket into them. "Your mother said she bought it in the shape of a heart, because she'll always be in yours'." He opened it for her to reveal a small photo of her mother, smiling lovingly at her.

"She also left these for you; she made them herself," Yashamaru said, giving Kankuro a hand puppet of a black ant, and Temari a small brown teddy bear. "She told me to tell the both of you that you are her world— she loves you more than anything, more than li—" Yashamaru stopped himself, "More than everything."

Temari's eyes traveled back to Gaara's crib, where he still lay staring at them. Kankuro looked, too. "What 'bout Bruh-ter?" he asked.

"Your mother—she didn't leave anything for Gaara, no," Yashamaru said, avoiding eye contact with the baby.

"Why?" Kankuro asked.

"Didn't she love him, too?" Temari asked.

"We slept in late," Yashamaru said, changing the subject, "It's lunchtime, already. You head on into the kitchen and I'll meet you there."

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_**Present**_

_I still wonder…_ Temari thought, gazing at the floor, _did Mom ever love Gaara?_

"You're not allowed in here," Gaara said, finally speaking. "Yashamaru will come in soon and pick you up and take you away." He had set the picture frame down on the ground.

"I know," Temari said, locking eyes with him again, "But that's why I need to give you this now, while I have the chance." She took a few steps closer to Gaara; the bear was now only a few inches from his face.

Gaara didn't take it; he merely stared at it. "Why would you give me this? It's yours."

"Because…" Temari's mouth closed. She tried to arrange the words in her mind as Gaara's hands slowly grabbed onto the bear's stubby arms. Temari let go and Gaara held it himself. "Because," Temari said again, "We're part of a family." Gaara looked up from the bear and into Temari's eyes. Temari continued, "You'll always be my brother, Gaara, so I'll always love you."

They heard loud, quick footsteps coming closer. "Quick, he's coming—" Temari hissed. Gaara swiftly hid the bear under his pillow just before Yashamaru appeared in the doorway.

"Temari!" he said, racing over to her and picking her up. His voice was loud with worry. "You _know_ you're not supposed to be in here!" He carried her out of the room.

After the footsteps dulled, Gaara looked back at his pillow. He lifted it and picked up the teddy bear again. After a few seconds, he set the bear back down on his bed. "Love," he said, testing the unfamiliar word on his tongue. _What is… love?_

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**A/N: This is NOT the end.**

**In fact, this is FAR from the end. There are still a lot of things that are going to happen in the story.**

**The next update definitely won't take even half as long as it did to update this time. I also have a week's break the week after next week, so it won't take very long to update this time.**

**(Again, I'm _VERY_ sorry for chapter three's long update!)**

**Please review!**


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